attempt at resurrection

I think that I will try and do some blogging again. I think it could be good for me because I have all these random thoughts throughout the day and don't really put them down anywhere. Sometimes they feel significant at the time, but then the significance seems to fade so perhaps writing these in a blog would help me at least map my thoughts and see the things I'm thinking throughout the day. Hopefully I learn some things about myself.

My roommate, Alex, and his girlfriend, Kayley, are sleeping right now a few feet away from me. This of course reminds me of when I had someone to sleep with. My girlfriend and I broke up about a month ago and it's quite strange. We had been dating for two years and everything we did had become a habit. Now it's difficult because I only know how to be her boyfriend, and am unsure of how to be just her friend. I also continue to feel urges to kiss her and hug her and do other couple related things with her. I'm not sure if that is because habit tells me to do these things, or if it's because I still truly love her. I think it's the former, but it's difficult to tell. Anyways, seeing Alex and Kayley sleeping peacefully with each other makes me feel happy inside but sad on the outside, does that make sense? I'm sad that I don't have anyone to sleep and cuddle with. "What we really loved was to sleep like babies all day long." That quote from the movie Me and You and Everyone We Know really resonates with me. I really loved just sleeping with her. Everything just slows down and all that matters is nothing at all because at that moment things are perfect. I'm happy because I'm witnessing a perfect moment.


Currently Listening:
Chairlift